This section of our website is dedicated to helping our patients make connections. Sometimes things that are obvious to others aren't always obvious to us. Making connections is a way of thinking about a problem in relation to other aspects of your life.

First and foremost, personal connections means keeping connected to your partner, your friends and relatives. All too often, we get consumed and driven toward a specific goal (like having children) and we neglect everything else in our lives. An open channel of communication to your partner, to your friends and relatives and to your medical care providers is essential to get through this process.

Keeping connected to your partner can be difficult. Men and women perceive the infertility process differently. For example, take the case of a woman who achieves pregnancy through a fertility treatment but then miscarries. Men tend to view this as a positive sign. Since pregnancy occurred, he feels they were able to get one step closer to their goal of having a baby. Women, on the other hand, see this as further evidence that something is wrong with her and that she will never be able to have a child. Understanding these differences from the start will go a long way toward keeping your relationship a happy and healthy one.

Infertility connections means realizing that infertility is a disease the same way that diabetes or high blood pressure is. It is a medical problem that requires expert diagnosis and treatment. It is not a result of worrying too much. Unfortunately, insurance companies all too often push the notion that the treatment of infertility is not "medically necessary" that it is somehow less important than other types of medical problems. Don't believe it!

Finally, we encourage patients to make the "IVF Connection"; understanding and fully participating in their treatment. In vitro fertilization, as well as many of the therapies that we offer, are very "high tech procedures". We as caregivers feel it is very important to maintain an open dialogue, an "IVF Connection", with our patients.

At IVF 1, we believe that it is important to care for the whole patient, emotionally and physically. Having infertility is stressful. Going through testing to diagnose infertility is stressful. Treatment of infertility, which should reduce stress levels, will often increase the stress on a couple. We understand this and work to make the process as easy on a couple as possible. Our philosophy of IVF Connections relies on making connections with our patients as we go forward together to conquer the problems presented to us.

Make the emotional connection

Infertility can cause each partner of a couple to experience different emotional states. Couples must make an important connection. These emotions that they are experiencing are related to their infertility. The drive to reproduce is one of our most basic instincts; unanticipated difficulties conceiving can have a negative impact on everything from your outlook on life to your closest relationships.

Denial

At first, when a couple is unable to achieve pregnancy, they may experience denial. Men are more likely to outwardly exhibit this. Infertility is very distressing to some men. They feel it is their responsibility as a man to ensure that their partners become pregnant. In some cultures, a man may feel that it reflects negatively on his "manhood". It is common to hear a man say to his partner "I think we are rushing things. Let’s just continue to try on our own." Women can exhibit denial too. A woman who is not ovulating, keeps buying different brands of ovulation predictor kits because the ones the has tried are "not working right" .

Anger

Denial can then give way to anger. Many studies have described anger as a common reaction to infertility. Couples may have the feeling that their infertility is unfair or unjust. It is very important that couples realize this. An angry outburst can be triggered by something apparently innocuous such as a comment from a well meaning friend or a greeting card or a TV show.

Depression

Sadness and depression are the most common emotions that infertile couples will face. In most cases, this is logical and understandable. Infertility patients are faced with real issues about being diagnosed with various disease states, reduced odds for having a family with children. These new realities may be quite different than those they imagined during their lives beforehand.

Specific events can cause worsening of depression such as a failed treatment attempt or a miscarriage. Other times it may be something less obvious such as a comment from a well intentioned friend. a greeting card or a TV show.

Guilt and self blame

At some point, couples will start to second guess every life event and decision they have made as the "turning point" that led to their current troubles. Women especially will come to believe, often incorrectly that previous use of birth control or an abortion or a child given up for adoption has caused her infertility. At times, couples believe that infertility is punishment for some previous transgression.

Research has shown that the stress associated with fertility treatment can be at a level comparable to the stress associated with serious illness. Patients who seek emotional support early in treatment are often better prepared for their experiences and find it significantly less stressful than patients who do not.